A Love Story About Four Fathers

To all the men who become a father figure willingly or by chance. Maybe you will see yourself in one of these men. Maybe you will recognize him as a friend, an acquaintance or even as a brother. The idea is to give them recognition, forgiveness, and an opportunity to turn their futures around.

The following four fathers are ordinary people who lived ordinary lives. The unique thing about them is they each had something to contribute to life. They each did the best they could with what they had and what they knew. Fathers are not super-heroes, they are first people just like the rest of us.

From the eyes of a seven year old, Mr. Willie was an old, old man who walked with a cane. He was blind but to this day I know he could see something. He was the son of a slave. He never talked about his father or other members of his family. Except for his son, there was no other living relative that Mr. Willie could call family.

Mr. Willie was the father of my dad. I don't know what kind of relationship they had . But I do know my dad made sure we respected Mr. Willie. We were responsible for making sure Mr. Willie was given a plate of food for each meal of the day.

Although Mr. Wilie was blind, he could tell when someone walked in the room and who it was. No one needed to announce themselves to him because he had a unique ability to figure out the identify of people within moments of their entering the room. No one could sneak in the room and surprise him. He was very aware of his surroundings. I was a young child when he came to live with my family. I often sat in the corner and watched him in amazement. How did he do that was my "sixty-four thousand dollar" question about Mr. Willie. How could he tell who was in the room? I never understood how he did it.

Mr. Willie loved telling the children ghost stories. He scared the hair off our skin many times. But we could not get enough of Mr. Willie. He knew how intense and scary to make his stories. He told us about the ghost dog. The story was about a dead dog that everyone liked when he was alive. I don't remember how the dog died. Mr. Willie said if you ever wanted to see the dead dog, just sit on his front porch late at night. He walks down the road towards his house at the same time every night.

Mr. Willie's house was more a shack than it was a house. It stood less than fifty-feet from the train tracks. The train could be a mile down the track and the house would start shaking. We knew the train was coming because the house would shake more and more as it approached the house. The road in front of his shack was about one lane wide. People would drive down the road with their horse driven wagons. There was no sidewalk, just house then a country dirt road. On the other side of the road was a vast field and a huge Elm tree that looked as if it could walk through his front door. Now back to the ghost dog.

Mr. Willie said the ghost dog was a big shaggy white dog. He had long fur all over his body. And his fur would bounce as we walked. People loved the dog when he was alive. They liked petting him. Mr. Willie said the ghost dog could be seen late at night about a block down the road happily walking and wagging his tail as he approached the shack. It seems the closer he got to the the house his feet did not appear to touch the ground. Just when you thought the dog would pass the shack, he'd disappear. That was it for the ghost dog. We'd all scream and run away whenever he said, " he'd just disappear before passing the house."

Mr. Willie was a great story teller. The lesson I learned from him was patience. He taught me to listen and receive what the other person had to say.

J. B. was a quiet man by nature. But I think in his youth he was a handful for his mom. I remember him telling me about the relationship he had with his mother. She encouraged him to be the best he could become. She also treated him a little better than she did his older siblings. I believe he was the youngest son. He was responsible for taking care of his little sister, Ruth.

Every summer his mother would send J. B. and Ruth to the beach cabin to live. That was his mother's way of keeping her two youngest children out of trouble and away from danger. He and Ruth spent a lot of time alone on the beach. They kept themselves entertained.

One day J. B. decided he and Ruth would walk down to the crab shack and get some crabs. As a young boy he did not realize how far the crab shack was from the beach cabin. He and Ruth walked for what seemed like an hour or two before reaching the crab shack.

When they arrived at the crab shack, the people were dancing and drinking and having a good time. J. B. and Ruth were tired and hungry. They wanted to rest and they wanted to go back to the beach cabin. The owner of the crab shack thought he recognized the two children. He asked where they lived and who were their parents. J. B. was nervous and wanted to leave. The owner said, you sit here until your mother comes for you.

J. B. suddenly realized he was in trouble with his mother. She had been looking for the two children most of the day. She worked for herself selling food to the people in town. You, see they were living through the Great Depression. J. B.'s mom was a wise woman and she knew how to make a life for her and the children. She lost a day's pay looking for J. B. and Ruth.

When his mother arrived at the crab shack where J. B. and Ruth were, she was so very glad to see them. She did not punish them. Instead, she explained the danger they were in. She feared for their life. J. B. learned from the experience the importance of listening and obeying.

J. B. was my father. The impression J. B. made on my life was caring for others. He loved his mother so very much. He took good care of his little sister Ruth. He taught me about the power of working for yourself. Thank you J. B. for sharing your childhood with me.

Lee was the third man in my life. He was the man I married. He was a well educated man. He spoke several languages and traveled the world before we met. He made a life for himself that deserves recognition. In spite of the difficulties he encountered as a child, he tried to break the cycle of poverty he lived. The feelings of abandonment he was familiar with never completely left him.

Lee was the father of two children from two different women. He tried to be the best father he could be to both girls. He married the mother of the youngest girl. The three traveled all over Europe and most of the United States. He taught his daughter how to function in a man's world. He taught to her self confidence. He loved his daughter so much but his demons had a stronger hold on him than the love he had for her. Lee tried to be the best father he could be but the demons from his past won over his will.

He tried to cover up his deepest fears but they surfaced in the family. His behavior changed and he became a stranger to his family. One day his marriage hit the wall and crashed to a million little pieces. His daughter no longer felt he was her dad. They went their separate ways.

The lesson I learned from Lee was the importance of honesty and trust. If you truly love someone, allow that person to help you get through your pain and fear. Maybe the two of you could find a way to work through the problem before it destroys the relationship.