Is It Love or What

I walk often and year round. Lately, I've noticed something different as I walk through the park. I noticed something that makes my heart sing with joy and at the same time I wonder is this love or what is it I am seeing?

People are in the park all the time but I noticed soon after the cold weather changed to balmy spring days, I see more and more people walking in pairs holding hands. I see young lovers stealing kisses they probably would not attempt if they were in the home of the young woman. I think to myself, it must be nice to be in love. Is this love I am seeing or is this physical attraction for the opposite sex that is driven by the change in season. What am I seeing?

I asked myself, is this genuine love I am seeing? Is this romantic love or is this love as defined in poems and romantic novels? Well, that sent me on a journey of defining the different types of love. There must be more to love than a declaration of strong physical and emotional attraction.

Bible's View of Love

The Christian Bible defines love as being patient, kind, unselfish and love is forgiving. Love is the fruit of the spirit... It does not hold a grudge. No "tic-for-tat" relationship. As a matter of fact the Bible is sprinkled throughout with definitions of love that seem to run through the veins of mankind. The more I read about love, the more explanations for it that rings of Biblical influence. Does that mean love is heavenly? Does it mean it is a core characteritstic of Christitanity? I understand Christianity does not have a patent on love but it is the basis for which i understand love and its meaning.

Conventional View of Love

I am learning, it is difficult to separate conventional love from Bibical love but I will give it a good try. People are known to create a lasting love relationship that changes the life of both individuals in a positive way. they find love is a deep and genuine connection that is filled with passion. It includes a conscious decision to communicate with each other in a verbal and non-verbal intimate manner. The payoff from this type relationship is a feeling of joy and positive anticipation of being with the other person. Defenses are lowered when love enters the relationship.

So, it may be concluded that intimate love is a type of satisfaction that comes from interaction between two people. It is a good feeling that stimulates nerves within the human psyche to feel a type of elation. This feeling is seldom aroused by casual relationships. The feeling of love is a mutual agreement between the two people that they are one on a certain level of human existence.

An individual may experience a combination of love relationships and gravitate toward a love that is selfless and mutually benefiting for both individuals. Three types of love dominate human relationships. They are erotic love relationships, philos love relationships and agape love relationships. Which of the three can you identify with in your current or past love relationship?

Erotic Love

Erotic love is a type of love that is based on "me". It is based on a physical man and woman attraction that focuses on getting whatever can be gotten for the self. This type love makes a person feel they are not in love when they no longer feel happy. The benefits that make the individual believe they are happy are not lasting benefits that weather the highs and lows of a relationship or life. This type love is about being in love with love. Commitment is not a driving force that binds the relationship. Remember the old 1970's song, "Love the one you're with?" That best explains the erotic love relationship.

Philos Love

Philos love is a love that is framed by a lasting relationship in which each person is committed to each other. It is based on a friendship that has withstood the challenges of life. The two people have maintained a connection in which the hardships and good times did not fracture their dedication to each other. The two people could have begun their relationship as friends and the friendship, over time, transformed into a love relationship. They gave themselves a chance to learn who the other person is before entering into a physical and intimate relationship. A philos love relationship is more fulfilling than an erotic relationship. The philos love relationship is probably as close as a couple may come to an agape love relationship.

Agape Love

Agape love is believed to be a spiritual, divine love. Agape love is a Biblical based love that few people attain in their relationships. They are more likely to attain agape love through mutual relationships.

Agape love is defined in the Christian Bible in 1Corthinian 13:4-8. Agape love is defined as follows..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth." In summation, agape love is not selfish love, nor is it a conditional love based on a person's personal agenda. It is a mutual love and respect for each other.

I've learned in my research that love covers the physical needs, the mental needs and the spiritual needs of the committed individuals. They are connected to each other through a bond that can not be broken by another individual. Which of the three type loves best describes your relationship, pass or present?

Love is what the two people want from each other. No specific love type is good for everyone. Not everyone wants a committed love. Not everyone wants a love that is good for the one you're with. Love is an attraction between two people who hopefully know what they are getting into.

This tells me, the people I see in the park holding hands and outwardly showing affection toward each other are filling the needs each person in the relationship is seeking. And they call it "puppy love. Some call it everlasting, and Some call it "lust." To each its still love.